Ireland, Ireland - no longer standing Dail ...

Leinster House had been burned to the ground. All that was left was a smouldering ruin and the blackened remains of an Irish flag.

The old man was trying to pin the blame on Brussels, but I knew the actual truth? Unfortunately, Sorcha was too angry with me for having sex with our daughter's Irish teacher to listen. But I had, like, other irons in the - pordon the pun - fire. I'd just become Head Coach of the Ireland rugby team - albeit, women.

The country might well have been focked. But very soon, we had everyone believing in fairy tales again. And it all happened once upon a time in . . . Donnybrook