"What a brilliant Christmas gift" Chris Moyles "Like sitting down by the fire with [Sir David] and hearing your stories ... Full of surprises" Lorraine Kelly. Think of this memoir as a Christmas special in book form, from someone who has been involved in a few of those and understands a bit about the concept. But a Christmas special very much like Only Fools and Horses, in the sense that the stories will be always heading outwards, ranging far and wide and well beyond the traditional festive gags involving giblets left in turkeys.

As I sift through various festive-related episodes in my career, loosening the ribbons, parting the wrapping paper, I'll be doing my best to reach any relevant conclusions about life, work and the meaning of it all that I can usefully pass on to you - baubles of wisdom if you like. Or certainly baubles. You'll learn why I have the perfect face to play Scrooge.

And if you're lucky I'll also share what it's like to fly in a helicopter with my old mucker Tom Cruise. Merry Christmas, you plonkers.